I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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