Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
