woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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