chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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