i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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