I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
