so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize