Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
