Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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