Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
