Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
