Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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