I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Randomize
