I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
