my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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