Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
