Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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