Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
