you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
