if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize