So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
