Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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