He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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