he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
