the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
