So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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