I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
