something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
