They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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