My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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