32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
