he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
