i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
