Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
