You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
