you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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