I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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