whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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