whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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