we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
