The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
