you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
