The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My ATM looks so different sober.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
