Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
