Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
