By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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