She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
