so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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