i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
