sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
