Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize