he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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