Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
