6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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