I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
