haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
