3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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