I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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