I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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