When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
being pregnant is like rehab
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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